silence

it's been quite a while since i last blogged.

i think i was suppose to post more photos here on my dear blog which i'd neglected for some time but i guess FB took up most of the novelty of posting new photos and captioning them. :P

it's kinda funny how i'd always thought i was the quiet one... but school and uni made me otherwise. or at least, i've to try to act otherwise. but nowadays, i think i'm back to my old self again. i've been thinking, what's so bad about being alone? some issues on my head now make me just wanna be alone... to think. back in US, when Dad and i moved on to Washington without my sis, i did many things alone. and come to think of it, the only times when i wasn't alone was during meal times, and of course when we were in the hotel. i think that kinda put some courage into my gut and now i don't find it lonely to be alone. i guess as we grow up, there are more times that we need to, or we have, to be alone. there are so many things we have to face, alone. not literally but you know, in a sense that we have to think on our own no matter how many people are by your side.

there's gonna be a major change, which i undertook almost all by myself. this process kinda made me more sure of myself, because ultimately, i've to be responsible for what i'm doing and what i've decided to do. retrospectively, it is this realization of being responsible for what i'm doing notion that made me want to change.

sometimes i think and am worried that all these being alone routine would make me a more selfish person. i certainly hope i'd not... and definitely i'd restrain myself from becoming so. and i think wanting to start afresh was part of the reason for the change. i don't want to dwell on things that i dread and i want to do things that i really want to do. Like how i chose to learn Korean instead of Japanese. i want to do things for myself, not for anyone else. that was a mistake i've been committing for a large part of my life and i want to change that.

that's all, folks. tomorrow's gonna be a busy day, i've things to settle in the morning and i've to sit down and learn Korean. haha