Fate

One in twenty thousand... do you know what's the probability like? Plus the chance of such an event happening to someone you know, how do you calculate that? Probabilties that are indeterminate can only be attributed to fate. Fate is such a funny thing; some people have fate to thank for finding their soul partner, others blame fate for taking their loved ones away.

I admit im not good at dealing with issues related to death. And yet i have to be put through such emotional turmoil thrice in the past 18 years of my life. The first was probably the demise of my grandfather about 10 years ago. Maybe i was too young at that time, i couldn't remember how i really felt. I only remembered crying at the funeral though i didnt really understand what death meant. i only knew that my grandfather had passed away and i'd never be able to see him again. But as the years went by, each of such occurrences set me thinking a lot. i kept asking why, why do such things happen? Why did it happen to someone i know?Why did things have to happen in such a way that God has to take away people i treasure? Very often, i'm in a state of disbelief. i chose to think that maybe this was not true, maybe someone made a mistake somewhere, maybe it was just a dream, maybe i'd wake up and realise that it was just a dream... though deep inside my mind, i knew this was true and all i need was some time to allow the truth to sink in.

Days after the 18th are terrible times for many cedarians and staffs, and of course the most devastating period for the family. No one expected this to happen, it's all too sudden. And the irony of it all: a life for another life. But like ms leong said, we've got to accept it and move on with life. It's hard to imagine life in future for them, a life without a loving wife, a mother, a daughter. Life'll never be the same again. It'll definitely take much time and patience to accept the truth and for getting used to. It'll be tough, definitely. Especially for the little one, who'll learn to understand that his mother had made the sacrifice for him. So dear ethan, please do your mother proud.

Sigh..this is such an emo entry, not well written at all. somehow i cant find the right words to say.. the feeling is terrible.