html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> destitute: post birthday + results

Sunday, March 16, 2008

post birthday + results

wah! it's been a super long long long time! haha.. about half a month MIA already. ok at least i feel that it's been a looonng time. oh man! work is really getting to me. ;( seriously, so many things have happened during this short month or so... can't really remember everything. grah! that's the problem with not blogging regularly.

for one, work is really getting much better for me already. i'm even enjoying it sometimes, in the sense that i do actually look forward to going to work somedays... when i'm feeling happier. haha! you must really think i'm crazy. maybe it's because things start looking better when you get to know your colleagues more, and there's more random chats throughout the day, kinda make working hours seem shorter. most probably extending my contract till april/june too, though there was a period of uncertainty within me. anyway, i think fate has decided for me since PwC has no vacancies currently. well.. i guess happiness does matter more, isn't it?

then it was the anticipation of the results that all of us dreaded. i think it's really difficult to describe my feelings. from feeling dreadful, to being anxious, back to feeling dreadful, to being numb from all the worrying and nightmares... to the excitement plus hopelessness plus anxiety with a dull sense of inevitability that it's all coming back at me at one shot, on that piece of paper. it's like the effect of all i've done (or not done) coming back to haunt me after so long (to me, the wait seemed really long...). that was really how i felt the period before results. the fact that almost all my colleagues are asking how i'm feeling about results and my confidence level doesn't make me feel any better. it kinda creates an intangible pressure that i think is really not needed.

felt quite happy and relieved that the cohort did reasonably well, i think, according to ms leong. that could mean two things; either i did as well as the majority or i did terribly, falling into the minority band. throughout i was filled with a sense of euphoria within me while my facial expression remained tensed, or so i thought. but when i received my results, that moment was the weirdest! i didn't know how to react, seriously. i think i just said,' whoa...really didn't expect this...' and i think my pd tutor didn't know how to react. haha! i was screaming from inside but i think my face was really calm and maybe, blank. aiyoh, i think my feelings and my facial expressions really tak match one..haha! and all my emo plans were uh, abandoned for a moment. but seriously, i didn't know what to do with myself then. so i ended up sitting at the bus stop for some time... thinking and thinking, and sending lots of sms-es.

birthday celebration the previous day was great! singing at kbox was quite satisfying, after such a long time. received great presents too! one was something i wanted and another was something that was really special and sweet! thank you congming and woo~ HAHA it's been great! at least for that few hours, we didn't really have to think about the next day. photos coming up in the next post! (but uh... might be in a week's time, at least ;p)

2 Comments:

Blogger Shiue said...

Congming! You can now cancel 2 items on ur blog's wishlist le! Now tt u've gotten more than decent grades, and also a temp job which u enjoy! Good for u! Yay! =) i'll find time to lunch with u aft i settle some uni stuffs! LOL! Take care meanwhile! and miss me too! =)

10:18 PM  
Blogger sihui said...

haha! i know i know..but haven't got down to doing it yet. lazy...

wheee! OKAY you sms me when you're free ok! i'll be more than heppy to have a different lunch partner! i'll be extending my job there so you can get me anytime! :D:D

12:32 AM  

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