i ran 7km+ today and i feel so proud of myself!!! *pats on my back

don't know where did i get the motivation from... maybe i was too pissed with myself nowadays. i don't know why, everything i do is just so... wrong. the things i've said, the messages i've sent, the way i behave... argh! what's wrong with me? i seem to be stepping on everyone's tail, well almost. :( maybe i should just retreat into my shell and just... keep to myself. you know, 多说多错. maybe i should get a job and get myself lost in the mad rat race. hah! is it a bit too soon? *ponders

okay i think im not sounding like myself. it's 2.16 am in the morning, maybe that's why. i think i need some sleep. okay, i SHALL go lalla already! peace at last! :) i hope i do not get nightmares about my results anymore. oh, did i tell you i had a bad dream about my results? hmph, i guess i'm going to have these terrible dreams till the day the real one comes. shucks!
:(










LEAVE ME ALONE!
COULD YOU JUST...
LEAVE ME ALONE?
i'll be fine, all by myself.
i think.
RUN! run... and forget everything else except the fatigue, like those that have always been there...

was just clearing my blog of dead links and gosh, it took me more than three hours! cuz in the midst, i couldn't help but read many of the blogs (those who are still 'alive'). many who have just finished their A's, like me, are having the same sentiments. lost, aimless, bored, worried... but of course there are others who are having exciting times in the outdoors. but many of them do realise, eventually, that all these gamings, blogging, nua-ing, bumming around and talking nonsense on the msn are having their novelties wearing off very soon, say, a couple of weeks? there must be more to life than this, isn't it?

others, who are a year older than me, are basically in two distinct situations: if you're in a local university, you're currently stuck in a panic-stricken mode in some Lee Wee Nam library in a secluded spot in Singapore, frantically cramming as much information into your limited-capacity grey matter up there. if you're in an overseas university, i guess you get a better deal over there with all the partying and midnight drives, well at least that's what i see in my seniors' blogs. one, i remember, is regretting going into NUS science faculty instead of some mathematical science in NTU.

aah whatever, will i even get into any of these universities? this issue sets me thinking (and worrying) a lot. talked to HDL about it when we were prom shopping, and we couldn't step into popular cuz we were drinking bubble tea ;p well both of us are almost in the same situation, fearing that we'd flunk our economics and getting below a B for physics. but it has come to such a point that such irrational thoughts come flashing across my mind randomly and then leaving me feeling hopeless, helpless and a dull sense of inevitability that what i'd always feared, would come true.

oh great! i've just attracted a beetle into my room. darn beetle, it always finds me when my sister isn't around. just pray that it doesn't come into contact with me, leave me alone and i'll leave you alone too! do beetles understand reciprocality, i wonder. and i'm just looking at the finished cup of yogurt sitting on my desk, as and when, to make sure that the ants haven't managed to detect this very sweet-smelling stuff over here. i ought to throw it away you know, but, hmm after this post okie? ;p

ahh did i tell you how terrible my run was yesterday? gosh, it was quite bad cuz i shopped with HDL in the morn-afternoon and went for my run in the evening. and probably you didn't see how the shopping would affect my run, well, i tend to get foot-ache after i shop, no matter how short the duration was (okay, at least 3 hours lah!;D). 6k after that totally killed me. it wasn't so much the tiredness and out-of-breathness, it was my legs that were killling me. felt wobbly and a tinge of pain, sister said i had to get used to the distance and i thought so too! argh! 3 freaking days left!!! omg, i really wonder what had gotten into me when i signed up for this run, especially with the full knowledge that i only had 10 days to train 10km. right.

tomorrow... tomorrow will be another torturous day... of running.
RUN, SH, RUN! :D

5 days to THE run!

and i'm currently only able to run approximately 3.3km. geez.

so im going running tomorrow aiming for 5.4km. i really do hope i'll be able to complete it without stopping! sometimes i really wonder what made me sign up for the run, when i truly know i'm not a runner kind of person. really, what was going on up there in that grey mass i wonder.

oh wells, since im already stuck in this, might as well complete this with dignity. haha! what a word! ahh, my entries are always so... unreadable... with my poor grasp of the language. i won't be surprised if i flunk my GP. :X

went suntec city and marina square to shop for DnD, or should i say prom? DnD is such a poser word, i mean, why can't you just say it's prom night? hah..maybe it sounds more sophisticated :S HDL said i was pathetic cuz i'd only ONE kiv-ed item after umm... 4 hours+ of shopping? hmph! well, marina square had virtually nothing (affordable) to buy. kinda sad today, cuz no shou huo. haha! shall try again tomorrow in town! hope all the walking doesnt tire me out for my run in the evening! :O

oh yes! saw posters and posters of reasons for running THE marathon, some were really quite nice! and i remembered one really vividly, it's about this lady runner who ran 10km in about 34 minutes! it was her personal best! cool... she shall be my motivation! heh, maybe i'll take a photo of it tomorrow! :)

ahhah! someone's staring at you!

heh heh! and again! do pardon him for his rude stares :P he's actually a
friendly and sweet lil' old man you know... :D

haha.. so random! that's me, the devil and mr. lucky for you! :)

i'm on facebook!

haha! and this is my first (green) friend on facebook!

'Majella and Si Hui are now friends. 1:29am'
okie, a word of caution though, dont join facebook at the wee hours of the morning! you may not get to sleep! hehe!

20 November ~ whee!

this is my 100th post!! cheers!!! yayyayyay! :D:D

hehs, so this is going to be a happy, long post! (i think!)


today's 20 november, last day of the torturous and agonising A's for most science students unless you're taking biology or pharmaceutical chemistry. that's why i chose to reserve my posting till today! haha, might as well since i was suppose to be studying for the past few days (apparently not! ;p).


well, i thought i'd be totally excited and euphoric when A's ends but now that it actually ended, somehow i dont feel as happy as i ought to feel. kinda weird.. maybe it's because of the kbox session that was cancelled at the very last minute, and so i went for lunch with mum instead and came home after that. feeling a little gloomy cuz it's pouring outside the window now and i guess it adds to my blue-ness and boredom. haha! or maybe, it's because the end of A's would signal the end of my life in AJ, formally.


i've never thought i'd miss AJ THAT much, but in fact i do. Not that AJ provided me with the best time i'd ever have but i guess the experience is one that i'd not be able to get if i were in other JCs. In a way, it's unique. Life elsewhere would not allow me to meet the same bunch of teachers, friends and acquaintances. Life elsewhere, would it have been better? Or worse? That i wouldnt know, but what i know and own are the memories i have in AJ. Much as i (or we) complain how 'un-bonded' my class was, i guess after the past two years, bonds have been forged perhaps even without us realising it. i mean, we're definitely not the most bonded nor the best class, but the experiences that we've shared, you cant get it anywhere else, isnt it? And of course, the nice teachers that have made learning much easier. i guess the teacher i have to thanks most is ms zhu, because without her sacrificing many hours of her time for consultation, i think my geography would not have improved as much. i mean, how many teachers would stay back till 9pm to answer your questions, even when we're all tired and hungry? you don't have to be the best teacher, teaching the brightest students. because most of the time, these students are more or less fine on their own. it's the effort and sincerity in coaching the weaker ones that differentiates a good teacher from the rest. it's the little actions and words she does that makes me feel bad if i don't study hard, for her and for myself. and i think she's one of the few teachers who has relatively higher EQ, even her sms-es are so bubbly with all the smileys. i think reading her sms-es makes you feel happier, as compared to others which are rather dull and formal. she's really more than a teacher to me, a friend and confidante as well.


ahh, im getting emo. okay, i should stop that, it's suppose to be a HAPPY POST! :)


yesterday, hahaman made a new friend! my study partner drew it for me, or rather i asked for it to be drawn. hahah! cute lil' things, i must say! :D












I SMELL FREEDOM!! 终于从书中逃回到这个世界了！:D:D

相信

突然觉得我只是一个人
有点孤单 浅浅的忧郁
我不知道明天会不会很美丽
虽然今天天很蓝 而云很白 风很凉

今天日记空白没有关系
不必每件事情都在意
不想工作 不想困扰自己
不必刻意想你
该是我的总会来
就算挑战 我不走开

一点点你的微笑已经让我觉得温暖
我还不懂坚持 正好让我学会去爱
我曾经看见困难 变得胆小 不够勇敢
但还是要相信
相信感觉 相信简单

有一天等我懂得事实也许更灰心
至少现在让我去相信
我还是会相信
相信感觉 相信简单

i saw a rainbow that day! it was a nice big one that stretches across the sky! cool! i've never seen one that's so large and vivid, it's like wow! you can even see the individual colours in it. the photo you're seeing is captured by my 1.3 megapixel handphone cam that is really quite lousy, and u can see it rather clearly already. can you imagine looking at it for real? i was in my mum's car, on the way home from college and i was staring into the sky at every turns just to oogle at the rainbow. (okay sounds wrong :X) haha and i got all giddy after that! ;p

i'd really like to spend some time just staring at the sky and just seeing the clouds drift around, if im not so caught up with mugging. :X it's just very nice to take time to notice the simple things happening around you, or even just things that have always been around, just that we're always so blinded by work, by paper chase, by the material stuff in life. i think im one who yearn for a simple one.

well, hope i'd get to do so after the A's; just doing things that i enjoy and activities that i've never had time to do. i hope i'll be able to do all these without thinking about my results, no matter how terrible i'd expect it to be. well i shall just enjoy my running, swimming, rockclimbing, shopping, blogging, nua-ing around ectera ectera...

for now, it's back to THE tys..


‘当火灯熄灭，过了今夜，就能从书中逃回到这个世界。。。’
hahah, maybe i should leave this phrase till the final day. X)