goodbye 2007 :) :(

a smilie, then a saddie - that's what i chose to believe, that there are more things to be happy about in 2007 than sad. :) cuz many times, i've learnt that most events can be seen in a good light. it's only perception. similarly, i would like to believe that there are more happy things to look forward to in 2008, than the bad.

argh! and being sick on that last day of 2007 doesn't feel good. a sore-ing throat (ie. pain is building up) waiting to erupt and a bad nose. eeek! it's amazing how fast the virus caught up with me. today morning i was still all happy and singing to the tunes on the radio, and by early afternoon, i felt my throat become scratchy. and i knew :(

since it's the last day of the year, i shall just sum up the thoughts i have on the year, the people i've met and the more significant events of the year!

:D let's see... beginning of this year, i was happy cuz i wasn't retained! promoted with most of my friends to JC2.
:( guitar syf: i didnt make it. but i think i wasn't that sad, cuz all it meant was one line less for SGC.
:D 6 march 07: my first dedication of the year to YES 933! jiahui read it out, really lucky cuz it's her last day hosting xgjy. :) yay! birthday luck i suppose!
:D march 07: i was appointed class leader! :D i learnt that only i can decide my own fate. when an opportunity comes along, grab it! when there's something you really want, go for it! create the opportunity!
:D was lucky to be selected for the National Economics and Fund Management Quiz (NEFMQ). learnt a lot about stocks and bonds, the equity market and many technical terms. and that was when i got to know mr. warren buffet, a very clever man indeed!
:D i learnt not to judge a person just based on the impression you get from knowing him/her for a short fraction of your life. there's always the lack of information or rather the lack of understanding of people around me that propels me to form a certain opinion of someone. it's impossible to know everything about a person- his past encounters, his present state of mind and even his character. different experiences in life results in us making very different decisions. respect people for that difference.
:( june: did badly for mid-year CT. felt terribly down cuz i didnt do my best.
:( i learnt that life is unfair. success is not measured by the amount of effort you put in. people form biased judgement of you without even understanding. certain things we do not expect others to reciprocate, you are just propelled to do it. Love also, is unfair. but then again, how do we measure fairness in love?
:( september: mrs serene ng's passing. it was a shock to all cedarians and friends. i've once again tasted life's unfairness. i believed even more in fate.
:D i learnt that perserverance is very important in life: in studies, in running.
:D i 'met' a wonderful teacher, ms corrine zhu. 'met' is not to be taken literally it just means that i've started to appreciate her goodness, through her patience, humour and nice-ness... it was then that i really see her as a person, a friend rather than just another teacher.
:D i met a green friend... oops a 'great friend' i mean! MAJELLA WOO! and mr. stickman(her shadow)! a really sweet friend who makes nice cards and writes funny notes. and not forgetting, a great mugging and running partner! thanks you, girl! :D and through her, i met kooey and jancy: 2 very great people that i ran SC together.
:D i finished the 10km Standard Chartered Marathon! i learnt that with determination and motivation, anything is possible! sister told me, by just going for the run, we're all winners no matter how long we took. we won our own race, just by completing it!
:D i learnt that as long as one person cares for you, life isn't a waste, so when things go terribly wrong, and you feel like giving up, remember someone out there is thinking of you. and even the other way around, i learnt that by thinking of someone you really love, you'll find the motivation and just keep going for his/her sake. that's what pushed me along, at the toughest time.
:D and from the terrible A Levels experience, though i still don't know my results, i am sure i'll make the best of whatever, however bad results i'm gonna get. that's the only thing i can do for myself, and this shall be my first goal of 2008. :)



2008, i'm ready for you!

so tired

i think i'm starting not to understand people around me these days. why do people do things not because they sincerely want to do it? certain things they do, it's just for the sake of doing it and it's obvious that they're just doing it because it is the right thing to do. it's so pointless. why have we grown to be such beings who are so superficial and always masking pretence? it's so scary... you'll never know what people's real intentions are.
why do people change just to please others? what's so terrible about yourself that you have to hide, and what's the point? everyone has their imperfections and weaknesses, what's there to hide and for how long can you hide?and the thing is, i don't think there's anything wrong, i don't see why. we're all human beings, aren't we? we're all not perfect. so why are you trying to be?
i'm don't have a glib tongue and i'm straighforward most of the time, but not to the extent of being blunt. but it seems like that's becoming a shortcoming on my part. honesty may not be the best policy in the real world. at least, being too honest isn't.

i'm beginning to discover another side of people.. is that good or bad? does it mean that i'm starting to think more sensibly, or is it just me thinking too much? so many questions.. they're making me numb.

Polar Express

For ever train, the destination isn't important.
What really matters is your decision to get on- or not.

-

Happiness is a voyage, not a destination.
There is no better time to be happy than now.
Live and enjoy the moment.

the maid-en journey

i've a temporary assignment for 2 weeks! to be a maid in my house... :( and it officially starts today. my maid's gone home for a break before starting her new contract with us again. hai... it's been quite long since i did any housework ;p and today i washed the dishes and fed the doggies, scrubbed their tubs too! actually thought of painting my nails a few days ago but luckily i didnt! they're sure not to survive the 2-week 'ordeal'.

oh wells, looks like the burden is on me (and maybe daddy) to do the stuff since i'm the free-st around :( mum's definitely not going to lift even a finger to do things except thumb-ing the remote control; sis will be too busy with her work and 'pak tor' sessions to be able to help much, and not to mention the other (almost non-existent) being in the house who will probably add to my workload. hmph. argh!! now i really wanna get a proper job soon soon soon! at least i'm paid, hahah!

oh man! christmas is coming but i don't feel christmas-sy at all. i should go down to town to breathe some christmas air or something and maybe grab something from the sales..heh! but then the jams and the mills of people in town kind of repel me. argh!

on a brighter note, christmas dinner with family is at margarita's! yay! at least there's something to look forward to. haha cuz i'm not expecting any christmas presents, as usual, except a logcake for eveyone. (which means more running...)

yanzi! yanzi! :D

went to watch yanzi's recording for SPOP 万岁 today!!! OH MAN SO EXCITING! :):):) cuz i was sitting SO near the stage can! like directly below it, so i could see her so clearly! it was the '$500 seat' lah..great thanks to ONG JIAMIN! hehs, she was the one who asked me if i wanted to go (of course i want!!!) cuz she has "tons" of tickets. she's in the fanclub afterall. and i really gotta thank her cuz we're really not shou, just know her through wanru and as a familiar face in cedar. hehs! super glad that she asked me along! :)

i think im liking yanzi more after today! haha, her singing was very good except for the two minor glitches in her voice at the beginning. we helped her by singing very loudly at the important moments, haha.. to you know, 'cover-up'. but that was the 3rd take and she managed the falsetto well enough (don't need us actually ;p). but she was cute lah, friendly and natural. i guess that's what most of her fans like her for.

oh yes, and since i was sitting so near the stage, i think i might be on tv when the programme is broadcasted. oh, joan too! haha, she went with me to the 'mini concert'. but then, it will only be broadcasted about 5 weeks from now, on a monday. cuz the recording today was for the 9th episode and currently, the telly is only at the 4th.

the stage and yanzi!

-

was looking at the people in yanzi's fanclub today and i suddenly found reasons why i would not want to join the club, or any fanclubs for that matter. it's too time-consuming (money-consuming too!), and it kind of takes away the element of 崇拜. i dont know how to say it, it's just the behaviour of some people, in that they were rather rude (in some sense). so the sense of respect is off as well. i just felt that in any way, there should be some common courtesy to be observed, no matter how close you are to a person, let alone an idol that you actually know less than you think.

the same goes for people who are, er not friends around my age. not that i don't respect my friends, but the kind of respect is different. i tend to draw a line when it comes to teachers or friends of my sister. the way i behave towards them is different from how i treat my friends, of course. i might come across as a little distant but i guess there's no harm being a little more polite. especially toward teachers i guess, no matter how friendly they are, i'd still maintain a wee bit of distance. (haha majella, i guess you'd not understand how my mind works on this ;p)












i love yanzi! :D

:]

"Fly me to the moon
And let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars
In other words hold my hand
In other words darling kiss me

Fill my life with song
And let me sing forevermore
You are all I hope for
All I worship and adore
In other words please be true
In other words I love you"

just think that this is such a nice little song.. heard it on the telly just now when i was watching huang jin lv out of boredom. hehs.. i DO watch the telly okay!

and i saw this wonderful quote on someone's blog and i thought i'd share it with you, the one reading this! :)

"Sanity is a madness put to good uses; waking life is a dream controlled."
- George Santayana's Maxim-

rainy day

i'm so sad today! it's raining and i can't go running! hmph! ;( oh wells, here i am eating nissin cup noodles. at this rate i'm going.....

staying at home is so boring, seriously. after sending dad off to his taxi, i flipped through the classifieds and sadly, nothing caught my eye. oh man! i need a job! i need to do something apart from slacking my time away.

check this out! http://media.abt.org/qtime/fouette.pirouette.mov
ahh! i wish i could dance like this again! it's been so long... and i've been regretting for not going back after the O's. HAI but then again i'm quite sure i'd not be able to cope, with this activity in addition to the crazy life i had for the past two years.











one day, i'll dance again
i'm pretty sure the fire within me hasn't died :)

For One More Day

'If you had the chance, just one chance, to go back and fix what you did wrong in life, would you take it? And if you did, would you be big enough to stand it?'

'Have you ever lost someone you love and wanted one more conversation, one more chance to make up for the time when you thought they would be here forever? If so, then you know you can go your whole life collecting days and none will outweigh the one you wish you had back.

What if you got it back?' - Mitch Albom

-

i finished reading For One More Day! haha, i think that's quite fast as compared to the other books that i've read. well, i think it's readable and it's quite thought-provoking. quite different from what i've been reading before this- those were 'funnier' books cuz they made me laugh. mitch albom's different; his books are always more truthful, as if he was talking to you face-to-face, more about family, love and death, and maybe that's why there are some parts that i couldn't really relate to. but neverthess, it's still a rather meaningful book to read, just like his previous two.

I cried a few times throughout the book, cuz i guess those were the parts that i could relate to. i think he was the only author whose writing made me tear (although i don't know many authors ;p). The wonderful thing about mitch albom's books is that the issues and the subject matter are very real things, of which most of us would encounter in our lives. And i think that's what make people love his books.

Well, it is often said that we should always treasure the people around us because we'll never know when they're leaving. And mitch albom has brought out this point once again with his very touching story, simply because it is really, rather impossible to have this One more chance to go through a day once again with someone you love. Many of us do not, unfortunately.

i hope to live up to this saying, to spend some time with granny, with dad, with mom... and i'm glad i did it today! i went for dinner with dad and mom today instead of running, cuz dad is going vietnam tomorrow :(









'Do you ever think while something is happening, about what's happening someplace else?
It's such a big world. Something is always happening somewhere.'

steam-release pill

twenty six years of your life... has it ever crossed your puny brain that it is time you repay them for all their time, love and money that they've spent on you for the whole of your life? i don't understand how a person can be like you, if i can consider you a person at all.

perhaps all i ask of you is to get a job and stop being such a pain and burden to all of us, that's all. anyway, i don't foresee you paying for my education nor giving them any monthly allowance. i don't think anyone expects anything from you, apart from staying on the right track, keeping yourself out of trouble and maybe, be financially independent one day. my heart winces everytime i hear you asking her if she could spare you some money. i despise and hate you for that; for being such a wimp, for being so useless, for not knowing how to reciprocate. i hate the fact that i'm stuck with you for life, by order of the being above.

i don't want to recall the many times you brought trauma to us but unfortunately, i remember every evil you did. you never stood by us, so i'm not the least sorry that i never treated you as part of us. i've always envied my friends who have elder brothers who fetch them after school, fix the computer and take care of them when the parents are away. but at eighteen, i think i've grown accustomed to fending for myself and having only an elder sister by my side. i think she too, have grown used to caring for the family. she's always the one fixing the bulbs when dad is overseas, fixing the lappie and the computer (even though you were the one who crashed it); and i'm always the one finishing up the leftovers at mealtimes (that explains why my diet plans have never worked) and the one who's always carrying the heavy ntuc plastic bags whenever i have to buy the groceries when the maid's gone home. i think, we have grown to be each other's 'big brother'.

thanks to you, i had to grow up much earlier than others. i needed a sensible mind to help out when the maid is gone, to think of viable ways to make sure you kept to your routine because basically you have no sense of self-discipline. we've helped you in every way we could and i've stopped doing so since a long time ago because i see no point in doing so. maybe they are still holding on, hoping that someday, you'll see the light. what have you done, being eight years older and a male, what have you done for us? i think i'm having trouble thinking of a positive act by you. i used to fear and be very oppressed but i guess i've grown used to such feelings, now that i'm stronger and more mature. i don't know if i'm affected by you in any way, cuz sister and i have proved ourselves that we are capable to achieving what we want. she's made it through university and now, a reasonable job. i've made it past the A's and hoping to get into the university. no matter what happens, i'll be sure to get myself through with a stable job, with allowance for granny, dad and mom. i'll not be like you, i promised myself since i was able to think on my own.

maybe i'd have been a more carefree girl, though i guess i've changed much from an introverted and quiet girl i used to be a few years ago. i'm still not the kind of person who is very expressive and i can't bring myself to be so cheery everytime though i do try. i might have jaded myself since young, to ignore the nonsense from you because i've come to know that i think and as a result respond more intelligently when i'm calm, especially to you.

you'd never understand how you spoil every event i'm at with your presence. i can't help but watch your actions with contempt and disgust, every time thinking when i'd be free from you. i've never confided in anyone, anyway i don't know how to. it's such a long story that i think no one would comprehend so i might as well keep it to myself and my sister. we'd often say how everyone would advise us with the same sentence, which i think, would be mission impossible for both of us, at least.

perhaps that's the reason why i enjoy 'lone-sport': reading takes me into another world, probably a happier one since i'd always choose books that will (hopefully) make me laugh; running takes my mind off everything cuz i'll just be telling myself to keep going.












i'll have to keep going
for you
for myself

to the library!

OMG i'm so so thrilled today! okay is that the right word to describe my feeling? hoho! ;p maybe it's more of a sense of satisfaction topped with excitement. i managed to get Mitch Albom's For One More Day! yayy!! haha.. you'd understand my feelings if you've tried borrowing the book from the library. actually the other books by this author are equally HOT! i've seen enough of 'On Loan On Loan On Loan In Transit Reserved On Loan Reserved....' and now i've got it and i'm gloating with happiness(?). now, i think that's a very weird expression. ahh...

today's trip was to return the 4 books that i've borrowed about 3 weeks ago (and i've only managed to finish reading almost 2). aiis.. much as i hate to admit it, i havent really finished reading the second one and i've got to return it already. so i borrowed it again today to finish reading it, how dumb! wells, i think i'd been too ambitious to think that i can finish reading all 4 within 3 weeks with all the prom shopping i had to do. now that prom's over, i decided to borrow 3 books!

ahah! ambitious me attempting to finish all of these in 3 weeks with the outings and prom shopping.. only managed to finish the first two though!

and the prom photos i promised... look at the people beside me cuz i dont look nice in the photos lah ie i look fat. ;p

the ballroom!

watching the video!

i was smiling like a fool..haha! all thanks to the one behind, he was trying something funny. uncle desmond ah uncle desmond...

okay, i decided this was the best! making a collage! this kinda sums up the evening! :D

and of course, the AJC prom king and queen 2007! (aiyah, why amos never win? ;p)

after prom...

whee! hah.. i didnt go for post prom ( sorry, joan!) and so here i am blogging.hur hur.

aiyah, dont ask me why i didnt go cuz i just dont feel like going. it's gonna be really and i mean, REALLY crowded there and if you didnt know, i hate crowds. and with all the 'toomz toomz toomz' music and probably the smoke, i'll be outa there within 1 minute (considering the time taken to squeeze my way out..). but then again, it'll be a once-in-a-lifetime experience cuz i think that would be the first and the last time i'd be in there. (so dont worry mommy, i'll not go clubbing!) well, i guess i'm really not the clubbing kind so i see no point in going to the clubhouse. :( it would have been better if the class were to chill out at some coffee places.. haha but i guess no place would be open after midnight. aiis..

felt kinda weird today. not exactly sad nor euphoric. just kind of accepting that this is really going to be the final milestone of my JC life and after this, it's a brand new life waiting to begin. all these thoughts came about when huhdelian casually said,'我的 JC life 就这样完了啊？' which is kind of true cuz prom is really the last event that all the JC2s can get together as a whole and after today, everyone would be busy with their stuff: working, army, holidays etc. how sad! 2 years... just like that...

tomorrow i'm gonna go return the library books (that i havent finished reading ;p) and go burn the photos into a disc! cuz my great sister brought the cam to nepal...hai, and poor me had to ask for one from my bro. and as you know... or maybe it's better if you dont.

ah okay, you may not understand what i'm typing, anyways photos will be on the way! to my posts i mean... those asking for photos from my cam, er... have to wait a little longer okie? hehs..(huhdelian, dont stare at me with those eyes :( )

happy day!

whoo! today is such an exciting day! okay, not exactly lah... perhaps happy would be a better word.

went back to AJ today! i was supposed to meet leon gim to help her with her math and possibly economics, and she told me last minute that she won't be able to make it cuz she's ill. hmm, oh wells, at least my trip to school wasn't wasted cuz i have two other important missions too! i thought i'd be able to clear my locker today but when i went there, all the lockers have been cleared! either by their owners or otherwise. mine was otherwise. hmph! didn't know SC could be so efficient ;p looks like they have improved cuz when i first got my locker, it was locked up and when the lock was broken, it was full of stuff left by an '04 student. (i was in J1 in the year 2006, mind you!) oh wells, luckily there was nothing important in it. phew!

mission #3: majella and i made cards for ms zhu as a farewell gift! :D we wanted to do it together at first, but in the end, we still did it separately! ;D we wanted to do it after farewell and then we realised we were really not in the mood to do it and neither do we have time to spare then. And so, after A's was the best time we concluded, cuz we'd have all the time in the world to do something nice for a great teacher! majella did hers using photoshop and it has lots of photos in it (some really random ones too! plus some *ahem analogy...)! ;p mine was pale in comparison though, cuz im no photoshop-savvy kid, im a simple kid with only a pair of reasonably creative hands. ;) hahah, personal touch you call it? nah, that's an overstatement.

*photos have been removed upon request :( too bad if you didnt see it!*
the wonders of photoshop...

the wonder of my hands... hahaha! everything is hand-made okay! that's something to be proud of! ahah, and that's hahaman at the end for you! :D

yeah! so that's what we did specially for ms zhu! though majella's one shown above is only a third of the actual pile.

and after that, we went around AJ snapping photos of ourselves (heh!) and were being bitten by disgusting mozzies. urgh! how irritating! but nevertheless, we're quite happy with the photos! yay! here's some! :)

the 美女s! hohoho! ;D

our first stop - the rockwall! the rockwall! i've always wanted to take photos at the rockwall! i think they're pretty things, and i'm gonna conquer it one day! but just by holding onto it today for the shots has proved to be a difficult task for someone (the orange one) whose blubbers are weighing her down. :X

and i tried to balance myself on the little poles while she took the easier path! hmph!

i like these! this first photo especially :)

green and orange (i dont have a blue school-based tee)

the funny uncle at the bookshop - my saviour when i forget to bring notes or need to make last minute photocopies; the one who like majella a lot - while majella speaks to him in english and he replies in mandarin; the one who is amazed that i understand hokkien and tries to speak in that to see if i understood him. hoho!

and today, we chatted about made-in-C products and how toyota cars nowadays are no longer as tough as in the past. he was glad that his toyota was the old one, i told him my daddy's one is too!:) haha... poor uncle must have been too bored being alone in the bookshop. i'll miss him and his er... elvis presley hairstyle? ;D

'喜欢你 就是起点 Make A Wish 梦会实现

晴天 阴天 今天 明天 黑夜 白天 全都是 Happy Day

Sunday，Monday，Tuesday，Wednesday，Thursday，Friday，Saturday

对你有一点想念　放心里面

Sunday，Monday，Tuesday，Wednesday，Thursday，Friday，Saturday

开心的笑 开心的飞　最想飞过你身边 OH　看你的笑脸

Sunday，Monday，Tuesday，Wednesday，Thursday，Friday，Saturday

精灵跑到梦里面 快 快去冒险

Sunday，Monday，Tuesday，Wednesday，Thursday，Friday，Saturday

星星照在 青青草原 一想到你都变美 OH Happy Happy Day

Where Ever U Go，我要在你身边 陪你 高兴 难过 变丑 变美 梦想 实现

Sunday，Monday，Tuesday，Wednesday，Thursday，Friday，Saturday 开心的笑 开心的飞　

最想飞到你身边 Happy Day Happy Day'

my first 10km run! whoo~

i completed the run without stopping! YAY! that's an achievement okay, at least for me! didnt think i could RUN throughout the race, except for water points though. :))) i'm so proud of myself lah, heh! i think i took about 1h 25min or so, not too bad a timing cuz i was targeting 2hours (and below)! so i guess i'm really quite satisfied with my run on sunday. :D

great thanks to kooey and jancy who ran with me throughout the run :) i've made 2 new friends!!! i think, without them, i'd really not have the motivation to keep going and will probably take 2 hours to complete the race :X the nice thing was that we were all trying to keep pace with one another and were looking out to see if any of us was lagging behind. the point of joining such runs (for non-competitors) is really to complete it, not the timing, not the plaving. it goes beyond that, it's the process of running, you've really got to enjoy it, with your friends... with your running partner(s). 'Completing the race is only half the fun...' that's what adidas posters at mrts say. and this time round, it's more than just completing the race cuz i've made 2 new friends! :D

the great running buddies - sihui, huixin and jancy :)

the AJ runners! hoo~ we're strong! ;p

race tag and the medal!! okay i think i'm crazy cuz i was taking that shotat midnight when im running the race in a few hours' time. :O

i think i'm beginning to like running, i can feel the passion building up but i dont think i'd become some hardcore runner cuz i still want to have a life. haha! well, i guess i'd continue running during my leisure time. i think it feels good to know that you can cover long distances just with your pair of legs.. haha! it's the sense of satisfaction i guess, it overpowers the fatigue and pain you endure during the run and that's what really keeps you going. it is even more rewarding when you see yourself covering longer and longer distances and the reducing amount of fatigue experienced.

and i'm wondering if i'll be able to make it for the run next year, seems like it's the exam period for university students. oh then i hope i'll miss the run, cuz that means i can get into some university here. ;)