화이팅!

I should really be studying. Or rather, doing my dumb negotiation presentation's preparation.

But I see no point, no point in the whole assignment. I just hate to do assignments that don't really serve any purpose, other than to take up a lot of my time to justify my earning of 4AUs. It's funny, and ironical, how professors and doctorates in various fields design such curriculums which are really not that insightful as one would expect from a Ph.D. It's like they have such a big idea about teaching a certain subject, and then frivolously write reports to justify the curriculum and methodology. Yeah big ideas indeed, but how much do the students benefit from it? They haven't thought of it, seriously. Because anyway, it just needs to sound good on paper, that's all. Important sounding objectives and learning outcomes, I've done some of that in events planning too. I know how tempting it is to make it sound real good when in fact, it's really just a do-for-the-sake-of-doing idea.

Projects. They really take up hell a lot of my time. Just take today for example, my group spent a good 7 hours on Fastcat. Fastcat, indeed. From 10am to 5.30pm, less the time for lunch/brunch at 3.30pm. Sigh, that's how my recess's ending up. Spending such obscene amount of time discussing and getting my points across. Sometimes I wish I was in a course that only had to attend lectures and finish tutorials. OTOT, that's what I like. I need to feel in control of my life; like, if I don't do tutorials it's really my own business. Projects are different, you have so many people to answer to. And also, so many people's opinions to hear and rationalise. I see it as a waste of time, sometimes. A task that takes 10hours to do on your own can become 18hours with the introduction of teamwork. duh

On a side note, I just hope to stay steadfast to my philosophy of doing things right. Not being too ambitious, not being toowild at heart. If I can only do one thing at a time, so be it. I'd rather do that one thing well, and get on with the other later than being so ambitious as to juggle both at one time. Chances are, those two will fall out of my reach and there, it's gone. I'm not brilliant, I admit that. But so what, life still goes on. And I can proudly say that I've done my best at that one thing, and it turned out well.

a pleasant spark in the days of blue

Whee! It's been some time since I've won something significant. :) Still haven't decided to keep it or sell it away.

This week's recess and it's home-alone for me. Hope I'll be able to get some things going while I'm alone. It's kinda weird when I'm alone - I get moodswings. That means sometimes I get the adrenaline rush that I'm independent and thus feeling so ever motivated, yet the next moment I'm kinda wallowing in self-pity of being alone and just feeling so alone. If you understand what I'm typing. Oh wells, and now I'm imagining the thrill if all our lessons were done through e-learning, how cool that would be? Waking up OTOT, eat my breakfast, on the lappie and attend lessons. Take a nap when I'm tired, then continue with tutorials and revision. Ahh..sheer bliss... (perhaps only as I think of it now :p).

Back to the topic of being alone. I've come to conclude that there's no wrong being lone. What's with the social expectation that everyone should be surrounded by friends all the time? I beg to differ on this. Sometimes, we tend to be swayed and act in accordance to the group we're with, and it's not exactly what we want to do at that point in time. I do think it's pointless, sometimes. Being stuck in the rat race in Nanyang Island, it's hard not to stop thinking about myself, about what I've got to do next. Well, 'my style is about, yah myself you know. Leapard preeenz. Boooomzz', isn't it? :p I'm still pretty upset by the whole episode of our dear Miss Singapore. But anyways, it's a lesson learnt to screen the future participants more closely. I mean, it's Singapore's reputation at stake, since Miss Singapore World is really representative of our country in all aspects.

On a side note, I went bouldering today!! It's been so long. Too long that I've forgottent the pain associated with the darn spare climbing shoes. grrr.... and yes, I've lost all my muscles. It came to such a stage that my hards are totally wobbly and they're totally not listening to me anymore. :( It's kinda sad that I really wanna climb, yet I can't afford to devote time to it. Why am I always doing things I don't like to do? The feeling's terrible. I really hope to be able to go back to dancing and climbing when I work. Or at least during my internship period where my weekends are free, hopefully.

It's been so long since I last blogged. Feelings good. But then again, there're so many forgotten words that are forever lost because of my procrastination to note them down.

Ah procrastination, it's the thief of time (and words, and thoughts).



And I'm thinking.... again.