That two-times-a-year thing

I'm feeling the dread.

The butterflies in my stomach.

How I hate them.

No matter how much I say I'm resigned to fate.

No matter how much I say I'm not afraid.

No matter how much I tend to feel emotionless at other times before this day.

I admit, I'm still freaking anxious and fearful I think I might die.

Why is my life so screwed?

Since the day I entered University...

It's supposed to be the funnest time of my life.

The time when you play and work your ass off everything.

But here I am dreading every single day, module, quiz, exam.

Urgh, another part of my transcript is going to be fixed in 4 minutes' time.

And with every additional word I type... time is ticking by.

Yucks... Anyway I shall check it in half an hour's time. When most anxious people are done with the cheers and tears, it shall be my time. Shan't go jam the system at 12mn.

Have a good night, dear readers. I hope I can have mine tonight. Wish me luck!:)

P.S. Not for good results but for a good good night.

Polaroids are FUN!

As we go on...

It's a funny feeling when you come to a realization that the person you thought you knew and understood rather well, turn out to be someone you actually do not. Blogs and Facebook are powerful tools that divulge information that you'd never know about someone. Ironically, the more you find out about someone, the more you realise how much you do not understand that person.

On a separate note, I think this holiday is so unfulfilling for me. I haven't done much of the stuff I wanted/had to do. And it's making me feel quite rotten. Especially the HRYF event that's coming up on my birthday next year. Sigh, I am actually quite lost in it. I'm starting to conclude that I hate being a bizmag now. Although I should really know better than to admit this fact. It's like this for me, once I admit to something it kind of becomes a reality and the feeling/idea/thought just grows stronger. This is not good cuz I'm gonna be stuck in this position for the next 2 months or so. Grrr...why did I land myself in this shit? :/ I really need to get this over and done with, because if I don't do it, no one will. And this concerns the possibility of an opportunity of the future being seized or not. Aja Aja!

Ending of December is something to look forward to! Because there's Christmas, a BBQ at hall, meetups, Cedar Homecoming and a climbing session! Woots:) It's good to end on a high note..haha!

Oh, weirdly nowadays, I've been craving for Frolick. Ughh.. now that's really unusual. :)


THREE days to Christmas! Say 'YAY' :D

Frolick Day!

Ah yet another meeting with two persons that I haven't met for some time! Good and happy day today! Plus the fact that I've gotten my Plan 1 during the registration of modules.. mwahahaha:) (But I think I'm killing myself by having two 8.30 days that end at 6 in a week :/)

Happiness aside, I've come to a realization today. I think, at times, I tend to be a little too self-centered. In a sense, I do sometimes lapse into talking too much about myself... maybe a little more than what others would like to hear. Well, it's not that someone actually commented about this. I actually had this thought in my mind today, as I was walking home alone. I really appreciate this kind of self-reflection and self-awareness that pops up every now and then. And I'm thankful that no one has to come up to me and tell me straight in my face that I've been doing things that irks them so much that they have to tell me. haha:p

Well, I think we should, or maybe I should listen more to others without interrupting. I've been doing quite a bit of this that I'm not very comfortable of. I need to listen, listen more. :)

Ah... frolick. I likes!:)

It's part of growing up

'This is a crazy world

These can be lonely days

It's hard to know who's on your side
Most of the time

Who can you really trust
Who do you really know
Is there anybody out there
Who can make you feel less alone
Sometimes you just can't make it on your own

Everybody needs somebody who
They can pour their heart and soul into'

I've never felt so much anger within me.

Now I understand how it feels to have frustration and anger pent up in the belly that I feel I can really burst.

Now I understand how it feels when she wrote ' Humans are forgetful. All the right you do can be overwritten with one wrong.' I truly taste the bitterness in my tongue. I think nothing hurts more than being accused by someone so dear to you in your life, those things said that are so irrational and spiteful.

Now I understand that I can no longer communicate with such a person, who probably doesn't have some logical sense in reasoning. Just so spiteful that there's probably no thinking done before bursting out in hurtful and accusatory remarks. Just plain, bloody blaming.

Lessons learnt and resolutions made:

I shall no longer listen to her irrational commands and will think on my own, and act in a more sensible manner according to what I believe.

Every time I feel anger coming, I shall just swallow it and get away from the situation. No more bursting out and shouting which probably doesn't make things any better. Just let the ramblings go on and shut my ears. :)

Use this as a motivation to stay in school till late to revise and read up my readings, do tutorials! (since I'd probably just sleep when I get home :p)

화이팅!~~